Search the beauty~A Hungarian mother finds her peace in her 8 year long stay in China
I am not a writer but I love beautiful things, I love expressing myself with art, or by creating healthy food for my family, or taking photographs of sweet nothings that catch my eyes. So when my friend asked me to write about my life in China, about my feelings, about my experiences that has shaped me in the last 8 years, I find it so hard to put it all together yet I have so many things to talk about. Coming from a small village in Hungary and raising both my beautiful daughters in China with my husband, has taught me so many things, most importantly to find beauty in my life no matter where I live.
I don’t want to dwell on the difficulties we face here in China, especially when we begin our journey here, but instead I will talk about what makes my life special. As we get accustomed to our new life, we find things around us that are beautiful, we need to keep looking. More you see, more you will find. We need to train our mind to think positively and I can assure you there is no other easy way to survive.
Most of us moms are at home, we are the caregivers, we go out to shop to find the right food for our families, we keep our home, a sanctuary of comfort and stability and we keep smiling keeping our worries inside. We study their language a little to be able to cooperate in the daily life with ayis, taxi drivers and waiters. It is all a big challenge, but we love at our small successes when the first time our Chinese is understood; it is a great sense of accomplishment.
Giving birth is China is a unique experience too. My kids were both born here, first in Qingdao and the other in Shanghai. Both the deliveries were beautiful, and must say the locals made it more special. The way they treat and love children, our children is so very colorful. From the first moment the baby arrives, everyone makes you and your baby feel so loved! They treated our children with special attention (even if sometimes for superficial reasons or of blue eyes and white skins) but their love for children is genuine. I have never seen my children being mistreated and that’s such a comfort for a mom’s heart, knowing that there are others who think your children are as special as they are for you.
Shanghai is a metropolis and that definitely brings more stress and rush to our lives. Compared to Hungary, half of our whole population is in Shanghai alone! No wonder often stress creeps into our homes. Then there are those hard days when nothing goes right, and all the positivity blows out of the window, we need tools to keep us grounded. And I believe Yoga or gym is the best of the tools. Or for nature lovers like me , a walk in the nature calms me down , I feel more relaxed, happy, restful and more centered. There is ancient Chinese saying ………. “if you want to be happy for a few hours, get drunk, if you want to be happy for months then fall in love someone, if you want to be happy for years have children, if you want to be happy for the whole life: Be gardener! “ . This saying resonates with me a lot and I find myself time and again back to a little park or a big one to renew my senses. What about the beautiful flowers round the corner? If you just feel lonely or need colors to your life, buy the very them! There are lots to choose from.
Having lived in China for so long, Chinese massages have become an integral part of my life. That reminds me to find a teacher,I have been planning to learn Chinese foot massage for years now! Most of us are at first reluctant to trust the authenticity of such massages but with trial an error and inputs from people around, it becomes a necessity. I find it fascinating that my touching my foot, expert masseurs know which is that parts of the body what need more attention. I have been told there are three ways they use Chinese foot massage. First to forestall all the sickness and keep the body healthy. Keep the blood circulation well and the foot massage can be indirectly causing better overall health, as well as recovery and prevention. Like most Oriental medical techniques, foot reflexology is holistic treatment. It concentrates on treating the whole person rather than just symptoms of one particular ailment.
Most importantly,I love that fact that I have met people from different parts of the world, some fun some not so fun, learned about their culture, made new wonderful friends, learnt new recipe etc. It gives me satisfaction that my kids respect others culture especially in this global era.
For me all of these help to enjoy our stay in China, and I am so sure we will miss that if we need to move back.Search the beauty and your life will be just happy here!
Written by :Judith Sz is from Hungary and is a mom of two beautiful girls.She and her husband loves nature and enjoys their biking sessions with their girls.Judith is also an avid photographer and all the pictures in the article are her own.